I do not set goals nor do I take on challenges for the sake of doing so, but rather to be able to face the girl in the mirror. I am well aware the girl in the mirror is simply my reflection, but facing her has been my biggest challenge. Her glare declares the uncertainties of my heart. She is always disappointed, detesting my individuality, and unsatisfied with my accomplishments. Though her attitude burdens me, I am motivated to work harder to achieve greatness. It wasn’t until I raised money to go to Europe when I was able to push past my fears and completely overcome the girl in the mirror.
I set a goal in 2010 to leave the country in two years, and I searched for traveling opportunities. October of 2011, People to People Student Ambassador Program, founded by President Eisenhower, accepted my application to travel to Ireland, Wales, England, France, Belgium, and the Netherlands. However, the trip tuition was $7,089 and I had seven months to raise the money. I identified the challenges and imagined the sacrifices I would have to make with my time to earn the money. Nevertheless, I preferred to learn, achieve, and acquire a broader view of the world rather than to give up. I never knew the experience would have such an impact on me changing who I saw in the mirror.
By January 2012 I felt like I was going to lose my mind. With $6,100 left to fundraise, the guitar lessons, candy sales, and at-home spa services were not making the cut. I began to doubt my decision to try to raise the money. No matter how hard I worked to raise more funds, the more money I needed. My family’s financial struggles and the stress of school made me feel as if I would spontaneously combust. I put my pride away and bore my heart to my mother in hot frustrated tears. She knew better than I the risk we were taking, yet she spoke words of encouragement and confidence that gave me the strength I needed. As a result I started to enjoy living on the edge trying to make money whenever I could, never knowing if I would have enough to pay the trip tuition due for that month, and letting my entrepreneurial spirit soar. My perspective of the world was already changing. I could see the girl in the mirror influencing my thinking in that low moment of weakness, so in overcoming it, I began to have more faith in myself.
My greatest enemy, the girl in the mirror, is only me, Kailyn Rae Harris. Her insecurity is my own, but I learn to press beyond what I feel. The anxiety of failing has never left, but bravery is not the absence of fear, but knowing how to deal with it. With the help of a $1,000 scholarship I raised all the money in time and went on a trip of a lifetime. When I returned home, I only see myself in the mirror now, a young woman ready for anything!
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